I'm happy to report that Ben has made it through the surgery. We were up before 5 this morning and we finally made it home around 1:30 pm. The actual surgery was between 7:45 and 10:45, during which I drove from Burbank to Pasadena so I could get groceries, walk the dog, and attend the weekly training at my practicum site. Oh, and write a paper that was due today.
Welcome to my coping mechanisms: denial and distraction.
Seriously, though, Ben's doing really well. The worst bit so far is his sleepiness. Which really, is neither "worst" or "bit" - he' slept most of the day and who wouldn't want that?! His pain is being thoroughly managed through a pain pump implanted in his shoulder that gives him a constant supply of morphine. Then he has this nifty electric cooler/water system that constantly circulates cold water through a compress strapped around his shoulder. He'll use these two gadgets for the next few days until he goes back to see his doctor on Monday, at which time the pain pump will be removed and ... well, I don't know what else.
I'm not going to lie - I've been a bit nervous about this whole "surgery and out of commission for six weeks" plan. Here's the thing - I'm a pretty independent person. And I proudly and stubbornly held onto that identity when I got married...which wasn't the best move on my part. (I.E. Having an attitude of, "Back off, bucko, I can handle this on my own," isn't too conducive for a relationship.) So, I've been learning to rely on Ben more, much to my chagrin. Because look how that's worked out for me: now I panic at the thought of not having his help in our day to day lives. You mean I have to walk Mia every morning when she wakes up at 6:30?! And I have to unload all the groceries by myself?! And when I have 30 papers to grade and 2 of my own to write tonight before my prayer group comes over, I also have to sweep the house and put away the dishes? Wow. Life all of a sudden got much more overwhelming.
But at least he's okay and this isn't a forever plan. And that's a good thing. Because I am SO not cut out to be a nurse.
