Black(mail) Stache

B: Hey, I need you to pick up some Just For Men when you go to Target. Jet Black.
R: *blink*
R: *blink*
R: Why?
B: Because! I'm going to dye my mustache for the boys' Vegas trip this weekend.
R: Forget it. I will have no part in helping you look even more like a child molester or porn star.
B: Ok, either you pick some up for me today so I can dye it before the weekend, and I'll shave it off as soon as I get back, or I'll buy it when I get back, dye it and then leave it that way for two weeks.
R: *sigh*
R: *roll eyes*
R: FINE.

Note: Dr. Gottman states that eye-rolling is a type of contempt, which is one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I implore Dr. Gottman to spend 5 minutes with my husband without rolling his eyes.